Well today wasn’t my finest day…

Woke up with a pounding headache, finally got myself off to work running a little late, tried to get what I needed to get done but ended up not being able to kick the pounding in my head and felt like I was going to throw-up majority of the morning. I don’t know what my deal was but it wasn’t a pretty am. Throughout the afternoon I could feel my mood changing and my head getting cluttered. I have lots of stuff going on at work that stresses me out (and pisses me off), today it boiled over and by the time I left I could feel myself getting anxious and angry. When I got home, I went to pull some veggies out of the fridge, ended up dropping a few things on the floor and spilling them everywhere. This tipped me over the edge. I lost my shit! The worst part is both my kids watched it all 😦 I try really hard to not let me kids see this side of me. They know I battle depression and don’t get me wrong they see some horrible sides of me here and there but I do try really hard to not let them see this side. After yelling a few choice words and getting covered in coffee creamer, I hid in my room and cried…

I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS

I’ve been reading a new book and it’s making me think about what I can do without meds. I’m not against them, I just want to try everything else before I put medication in my body. I’ve been on and off anti depressants since I was 15 years old. They don’t mix well with me. Anyway this book isn’t about depression but autoimmune diseases and how the food you put in your body can help. Got me thinking, what can food do for depression? I know from experience the keto diet helps me have a clear head and my kids say I’m way happier and nicer when I’m following that diet. So what if I really went all in and started taking more out? What if I replaced the sugar substitute with more natural sweeteners like raw honey. What if I got serious about what was going in my body. I love the keto diet I have been following, but what if we took it up a notch and really focused on not only cutting gluten, sugar, and carbs out but learning where our food comes from and what is really going in our bodies. What if I take out all processed food, including sugar substitutes, alcohol and caffeine. Do you think it would help with my mental state? I’m almost past the point of even wanting to lose weight and just trying to see what I can do to help my head and heart. I feel like I’m fully losing my mind lately and I don’t want to see where it leads if I stay on this path. Mental health is such a touchy subject and so many are scared to admit they have a problem or bring it up to someone they are close too.

It sounds daunting the more I think about cutting everything out. Makes me miss food already! However I do love to cook and as long as I make the time this could work. It will have to be a whole family change, I can’t do this on my own that’s for sure.

Anyone have any experience with this? I think I’m going to go hit up the google machine and see what I can find. We know what it can do for the body, but what can it do for the mind?