low carb

It’s a New Year! But not a new me

The last couple of months have been a whirlwind of emotions and I sit here feeling like a complete failure. I not only have thrown my eating habits out the window, but my emotional status is also in a dark dark hole somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I know everyone starts a new diet and “new me” thing at the beginning of the year. Me, I’m just trying to pull myself out of this dark place I’m currently living in. I’ve done it before and I will always come out of this craziness. But this time it seems to be a little more difficult. Lots of changes are going on within the next few months, and although they are good changes they are stressful and scary. I honestly feel like I’m drowning and I’ve let everything get out of control.

I sit at the heaviest I have ever weighed… Let’s let that sink in.

Over the last year, I worked really hard to follow a keto diet and was successful in losing about 20lbs. I enjoyed my lifestyle and felt great. My whole family could see the difference in me. What it does for my depression is crazy good stuff. That was then and this is now. I cry every day over life, my weight, and shoot just about everything. I cry on the way to work, on the way home, and when my kids aren’t in the room. My poor husband tries his best to do what he can for me, but he’s experiencing a lot of stress right now also and I’m just making it worse. I feel like I’m not only letting myself down but my whole family. I’m so good at putting on this strong face, that I’ve got my shit together and we are killing it at life. We own our own company, I’ve worked for the same place for the past 6 years, we homeschool our kids and we are making my dream of a flower farm come to a reality. The truth is, it’s not all that glamorous… Our business has big changes coming in the next few months, I hate my job and it stresses me out beyond words, my kids don’t get the attention they need and are basically schooling themselves and as much as I want my flower farm it SCARES the shit out of me. What if I fail? What if I can’t sell my flowers? How much money can we actually make? We live in the desert, can I really grow flowers here? What if no one likes my flowers? The list of what if’s go on and on.

Here is what I do know. It’s time to take a step back and do this one little step at a time. Small changes will make big changes down the road. At this stage in my journey, I need to focus on my mental health and getting my body healthy again. I can’t be successful in anything if I can’t get my head straight. Right?

I have always been against modern medicine when it comes to my mental health. I have conquered this before with vitamins, food, and meditation. These three must-haves have to be my whole world right now. I’m fighting massive headaches every day, my bathroom runs consist of one extreme or the other, my stomach hurts more times throughout the day than not, I cry all the time and I have zero energy to get through my day. The negative talk in my head is taking over my life.

Baby Steps –

  • Mental Health –
  • Finishing and Following through with my Flower Farm School (that just started last week)

When I’m feeling a little more stable (hopefully in a month or two) and I know I can handle one more outlet, we adventure into my online home decor boutique. Small changes to make big changes. I need to figure out how to get out of my current job without losing that income.

This weeks menu. YUM!

This weeks menu is done and prepped!

Breakfast –

  • Spiced Pumpkin Muffins: Against All Grain Cookbook

Lunch –

  • Taco Soup: Keto 4 Karboholics (this soup is AMAZING)
  • Tomato Soup: Keto 4 Karboholics
  • Club Sandwich Wraps: Against All Grain Cookbook

Dinner –

  • Meatball Subs: Eat What You Love Cookbook
  • Legit Chicken Thighs: Keto 4 Karboholics
  • BBQ Bacon Burgers: Against All Grain Cookbook
  • S&S Chicken Thighs: Keto 4 Karboholics
  • Legit Pork Chops: Keto 4 Karboholics
  • BBQ Dry Rub Thighs: Keto 4 Karboholics
  • Spare Ribs: Spinachandbacon.com

I’m going to try and not have to many snacks between meals. If I do it will be string cheese, nuts or something simple. All the cookbooks I have I ordered from Amazon. I love finding recipes on Pinterest and Keto 4 Karboholics has the most amazing keto recipes! Go follow her Instagram, you won’t be disappointed.

So here is where I’m listing my meals, however I’m planning on experimenting with the recipes. Like I’ve talked about before my goal is to cut all sugar including the fake stuff. That’s what draws me to a Paleo diet. But I love Kassy’s (K4K) recipes, so I’m going to see where I can sub out and mix in local honey and pure maple syrup.

Hope everyone has a great week!

NO body is perfect!

So the last few weeks haven’t gone like I thought or planned they would. I have completely failed and thrown myself back in the “poor me” corner… I had a spiral down hill and just haven’t been able to come out of it. I have all these great things in my head, and they all seem so doable. But follow through is my weakness. The problem is I have to not only change my world but my families and that is way overwhelming. It’s freaking hard! We have a daughter that has a naturally low immune system and is an extremely picky eater. To think about changing her eating makes things spin in my head and I’m just going to go back and crawl in my corner. She’s 13, it’s not like I’m changing a toddlers eating habits. Is there hope though? Yes, there always is. I just have to be willing to fight. For the first half of both my kids lives we did a gluten free diet and it worked well. Then life got busy and easy meals became the norm. Now that they are older and having a daughter that thrives in the kitchen I have to think of more then just feeding them. Some how I have to teach her to switch up her baking to a more paleo friendly style and in order to do that I have to learn.

I love baking and cooking but (here come the excuses!) I work fulltime, get off work run home take Averee to gym come back and do school with Ryder, cause 5 years ago we decided HEY LETS HOMESCHOOL! then pick her up, come home and think about dinner at 8 o’clock at night.

Anyway back to the point.

I seriously have to figure out how to get this habit to stick and make these changes for all of us… I’m struggling… I think it’s time to go back to tracking everything and making sure I put it all in the night before. Maybe if I share some recipes it will help me continue down this path. I know it’s going to be an up and down battle until one day it just becomes our norm, but why the fuck does it have to be so hard!

Does anyone pre make meals on the weekends? I hate the thought of giving up my weekends to cook all day. How do you balance that?

Hit me with your best paleo / keto friendly meals you prep early in the week!

Switching from Keto to Paleo

I got 3 new cook books this week! I have been doing so much research on how diet can be connected to depression. I think there is hope… I am focusing on keto/paleo to see how this plays out. Like I have said in the past I love the keto diet I have been following but I’m just not a huge fan of the sweeteners used in all the recipes. If I can use natural sweeteners like raw honey or pure maple syrup I feel like that can be healthier for my body? I get that the keto sweeteners are made for a reason, so they don’t spike your blood sugar and you can stay in ketosis, but if I’m really trying to just focus on the quality of food I’m putting in my body, I’m thinking I should focus on what is the most natural.

We have fresh pork from the butcher in the freezer, and am shopping around for beef. I think I just secured 12 hoop houses off craigslist (for free, just need to buy the plastic)! This winter I really want to try and keep some of my garden going. There is so much to look in to and remember everyday that I can do this! I’m doing this to stay off medications. This isn’t for everyone and I get that but I am desperate to heal my heart and head in a natural way. Along with diet I will continue taking all my vitamins and add in meditation.

So what are the main differences between Keto and Paleo, well not much!

KETO                                                          

  • Veggies                                     
  • Meat
  • Fish                           
  • Fats
  • Dairy
  • Nuts and Seeds

My favorite part of Keto is that I can have dairy. I love dairy! But I don’t like that I can’t have much fruit. That is something I love to snack on and it makes happy 🙂 I find that a lot of people that do Keto don’t really focus on the quality of the food they are eating, it’s all about the carbs and they tend to over eat on the fat. (Don’t get me wrong I am not a specialist in this department and please consult a doctor before you make any changes to your diet) I have had great success with a strict keto diet in the past but this time around I’m going after something a little different. This time it’s not about losing weight. This is strictly about my mental health and what it can do for healing the body.

PALEO

  • ORGAN MEAT
  • MEAT / POULTRY
  • FISH / SHELLFISH
  • LEAFY GREENS
  • CRUCIFEROUS VEGGIES
  • ROOT VEGGIES
  • BERRIES
  • CITRUS FRUIT
  • FATS

The paleo diet seems to have a little more freedom, yet not. Like I said above no dairy is hard for me. But I feel like I have the freedom to eat more veggies and fruit. I honestly feel like it’s really close to eating the same way, it’s just a matter or eating for losing weight or eating to heal your body.

The more I research the more I am starting to see a link between mental health and autoimmune disease. I have a mental health problem, however I also have gut issues. Do you think they could be related to each other? I do! I need to heal one to heal the other.

This weekend we start the trials. 37 day paleo diet starts tomorrow! This weekend I shop, plan and cook. I have the carb manager app to keep track of all my food and I’m hoping I can get in the habit of journaling everyday on my progress.

September 25th – October 31st WISH ME LUCK!

Let me introduce myself! (or vomit my issues on you)

One of the hardest things is to admit something is wrong or going on that you feel like you have no control over. For many years I have battled what feels like a frustrating, never ending story of depression. Over the last couple years I have find myself admitting to my husband that things have changed and got worse. It’s not an everyday feeling, but instead we have advanced into some really high and low moments. Let me tell you the low times feel like my little world is coming to an end with a ball of fire chasing me!

There I said it… I’m not just a normal human but I have some big struggles that I’m admitting out loud!

One year ago I went and saw a naturopathic doctor for my depression and some girly issues. It was super informative and I appreciated what she offered me and my health. She was willing to help me start my journey on a holistic approach to recovery. I walked out with a bag full of vitamins, herbal tinctures and a new way I was supposed to be eating along with a exercise routine. Nothing crazy, she wanted me to follow a “dirty” keto diet and get in at least 30 minutes a day of movement. Not bad right? Well, changing the way you eat when you LOVE food, is harder then you think… And consistently taking my vitamins and tinctures apparently are harder then I thought it would be!

My good friend asked if I wanted to do a Keto Challenge with her that she has done in the past and loved. I needed a little motivation and this had a money pot at the end (a little extra motivation), so I jumped in with both feet! That 6 weeks changed the way I looked at keto and made me excited to cook and experiment with what we can do with food. I didn’t end up winning any money, but I did drop 15lbs in that 6 weeks and gained tons of new recipes that the whole family loved. The next challenge came and my motivation just wasn’t there… I started losing all motivation for everything again and I wasn’t the only one noticing.

Let me explain what happened in that first 6 weeks –

I lost weight for the first time in years! My sleep was oh so amazing and I was sleeping normal hours waking up perfectly refreshed. My skin was glowing, and my energy levels bumped up by a million percent. I didn’t have one single low in those 6 weeks… NOT ONE… My husband loved seeing me clear and happy, and my kids actually told me how much different I am and how I am always in a good mood. My kids also noticed their acne had gone away eating this way. All bloating was gone, my stomach issues were disappearing and I’m going to say it again, my energy levels were through the roof. I found a love for my kitchen again and was so happy to be utilizing all my garden treasures everyday.

So what happened???? How did I end up falling back into my normal ugly bad habits??? STRESS / OVERWHELMED / OVER SCHEDULED / HORMONES. That’s what happened.

You know what else happened when I fell off the wagon? All the ugly came rushing back and I think my lows got worse, if that is even possible…

This has brought me to my now. I signed up for another challenge (and again I can’t tell you enough how amazing the recipes are!) it hasn’t been perfect but it’s going. We are 4 weeks in and I haven’t lost a single pound. Not one. Last week I had a low that made us think it’s time to go see a doctor again and talk about my now “manic” episodes that seem to be getting worse. Strictly following a keto diet, expanding my exercise routine and growing my meditation practice are all things I have to get serious about in this journey to heal myself.

Well I just spilled my guts here and it’s not pretty! How is everyone else doing?

Week one down

The first week is well over and done passed! I made it through and dropped 7lbs in my first week 🙂 I know this was probably mostly water weight but oh man does it feel good to watch that scale go down.

I can’t express enough how good the food is and how easy the recipes are. I think that’s why I haven’t thrown in the towel. I am enjoying what I’m eating all day and don’t feel like I’m missing anything.

Like I just made lemon blueberry scones, guys and even the kids are eating them (I know mind blown!!!)

Breakfast is probably my favorite meal of the day. I used to not really be a breakfast eater, just coffee and I would end up eating lunch at like 10:30 in the morning, get home to start my mom running around at 3 and be starving! Then at dinner I would over eat and then head straight to bed. Yup, this is what my day used to look like and what I will never go back to! I’m learning it’s all about prepping and planning. I know what your thinking, and I don’t have the time either… Believe me I get it, and it’s hard and crazy but over the last week and half I feel like I’ve been learning all kinds of things about myself.

First, never try to prep the whole week in one day (unless you have an entire weekend day to spend doing it then be my guest) but for me I really did not want to spend one of my only two days off cooking all day. I LOVE baking and cooking however not on one of my days off. I found that if I pick a couple things to prep that will hold me over until mid week, then I can come home after work one evening and prep a couple easy things to make it through the rest of the week. Weekends I like to switch things up from the weekdays. Work food is easy and quick, weekends are for indulging and trying new recipes.

Second, I can’t stress enough how logging my food the night before is a complete game changer!!! While I’m eating dinner I figure out what my tomorrow will look like.

I’m not saying I have this all mastered, don’t get me wrong I may be doing great with my food but I did have a beer the other night (I know so not KETO) I’m a beer girl, I love a good hazy!

I already can’t wait to sign up for the next challenge. I love the accountability but I LOVE LOVE the recipes.